Parents often lie to their children to make their lives easier, especially when the children are still young. But before lying becomes a habit, it’s worth reflecting on your reasons for doing so — and considering whether a different approach would be better.
As lies like, for example: “no, you can’t eat chocolate — it’s all gone,” when there’s a giant bar of milk in the cupboard, or “no, you can’t use my cell phone to watch YouTube — the battery’s dead,” when it’s to 65%, make parents’ lives easierespecially when children are young.
According to , it can also be thought that the lying is in the best interest of children. For example, young children are told that eating carrots will help them see in the dark.
Harnessing the promise of superpowers can help kids develop habits that will serve them well in the long run. Likewise, lies can be told to protect children of truths that can be distressing.
But before lying becomes a habit, it is worth reflecting on the reasons to do it — and consider whether a different approach would be better.
Axis fPhilosophers have discussed various definitions of lying with the goal of developing a definition that captures all and only those cases that we think are actually instances of lying.
For example, we want our definition of lying to exclude jokes, metaphors, or some cases of exaggeration.
A lies can be well intentionedlike white lies and noble lies.
As white lies they are little lies told to protect social relationships — for example, to avoid upsetting or offending someone. To the noble lies they serve a greater good, such as maintaining political harmony.
There are some extreme caseswhich do not exactly correspond to the definition of lying given above. Selfless “lies” are told to get someone to believe the truth — if you know someone isn’t going to believe you, then you can say something strictly false, but with intent. to make a person believe in the truth.
Em alternativesomeone can intend to deceive without making a false statement: lies by omission involve deceiving someone by omitting relevant information. It is also It is possible to deceive by telling the truth.
But, the lies that parents often tell the children these are not “more or less” lies.
Some philosophers, such as Immanuel Kant, think that the lies are never justifiedeven though the consequences of telling the truth can be disastrous. But we don’t need to take such an extreme position to think that the ways and frequency in which people lie to children are worrying.
People don’t just lie to children when they implications of telling the truth would be very serious. People often lie to children for trivial reasons—to avoid the effort of explaining the truth, to avoid another meltdown, to speed up some process, or to get compliance with the law.
The lies They’re not always that small. Children can be told that the police will come and arrest them if they do not obey their parents’ demands. Children are not well placed to assess the plausibility of these claims and cannot be expected to recognize their absurdity.
So what is the problem to lie to children like that? THE trust.
One of the problems is the risk of being discovered and the subsequent loss of trust. It is important that the children can trust adultsparticularly in parents. Lying to children calls this trust into question and may be associated with other negative outcomes, such as higher levels of psychosocial maladjustment later in life.
Some lies that are told to avoid distress or confrontation may seem nice, but they serve to circumvent children’s need to exercise self-control or prevent them from developing an understanding of the world.
As Crises and confrontations are unpleasantbut inevitable for children, who have to learn to manage emotions such as frustration and injustice.
It’s important to remember that children are people too. We don’t casually lie to other adults, especially because it’s disrespectful to act as if the accuracy of your beliefs isn’t important. We must have the same attitude towards children.
By committing to tell the truth, we oblige ourselves to reflect on our behavior. For example, what is the real reason why your child can’t watch cartoons right now, or you don’t take him to the playground? Parents have an incredible degree of power over their children, which must be used responsibly.
Telling the truth can lead us to reflect on the reasons why we control our children in certain ways and whether this is justified or not.
Being a parent can be tiring, and Lying is the easiest option. But treating children with respect and helping them develop and mature requires that we remain in higher standards of truthfulness.
Teresa Oliveira Campos, ZAP //
