Convincing her husband to retire early and leave their lives in San Diego, California, behind to travel the world in 2018 was no easy task for Kimberly Walker, originally from the Golden State.
The former landscape designer says Mark, who worked at a weight loss and nutrition company, was resistant at first but eventually came around to the idea.
“It’s one of those life-changing things,” Kimberly tells CNN Travel.
“When you leave your job and retire, we can’t get it back if we make a mistake. So I think he was quite nervous. And I said to him, ‘Look, whatever happens, we’re going to wish we had started sooner… There’s no other way to look at it.’ And I’m really happy that he listened to that and that we did that,” he adds.
Life changing moment
Kimberly Walker and her husband Mark left the US in 2028 to travel the world together. (Cortesia Kimberly Walker)
The couple, who married in 1997, “traveled like a nomad” for four years. They visited countries including Poland, Montenegro and Australia, before settling in Portugal in March 2021.
According to Kimberly, her husband, an enthusiastic cyclist, “loved being able to count on clear, warm days” while living in Portugal, and has perfectly accepted life here.
Although she thought they would have many more years of days like this together, everything changed in an instant eight months ago when Mark died suddenly.
Now, Kimberly is forced to navigate life without her beloved husband while residing in the destination they chose together to start over.
“Even though you have to think about that scenario as a woman, of us probably being widows, you don’t think about that now,” she admits. “We had the world held by the tail. I mean, we were killing it.”
Reflecting on the motivation behind her decision to leave the United States six years ago, Kimberly highlights that her main goal was to see more of the world together.
“Many people are fleeing the United States, but that was not our motivation,” he says.
“We just wanted to travel. We liked Europe and Southern California is so far from Europe. That flight… I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to come here and stay.”
When they were finally ready to move, the couple sold most of their possessions, choosing to keep their home in San Diego, found “good homes” for their two dogs and said goodbye to friends and family.
“Our whole neighborhood threw a big going-away party for us,” Kimberly remembers. “They made bets on when we would return. And no one gave us more than six months, but we adapted to this lifestyle and we really liked it.”
Over the next few years, Kimberly and Mark traveled to destinations including Amsterdam, Denmark, Brussels, Germany, France, Spain, Italy and the United Kingdom, often staying with other couples. .
After being “stuck” in New Zealand for 18 months during the Covid-19 pandemic, the couple “finally got tired of carrying 30 kilos of stuff” and decided they wanted to stay in one place.
They traveled to Portugal, a destination they had previously spoken about, for a house-sitting job, at the beginning of 2021, and felt it was the right place to put down roots.
“We thought, ‘OK, we like this. We can do this.’” remembers Kimberly. “And we started doing what we had to do to get residency. That was about three years ago.”
The couple obtained a D7 visa, which allows non-European citizens with a stable passive income to reside in the country.
Kimberly and Mark rented a house in Vilamoura, Algarve, and focused their energy on getting to grips with their new surroundings.
Put down roots
In 2021, the couple visited Portugal and decided to stay here. (Cortesia Kimberly Walker)
As they had already spent a lot of time traveling through different European countries, Kimberly and Mark already had a good background knowledge of some of the cultural differences. However, they could not fail to be impressed by the country’s relaxed approach to life.
“The super patience of the Portuguese people is very funny”, says Kimberly.
“We stand behind a car… And there are several cars in line. We think there is a traffic light. After five or ten minutes, we ask ourselves, ‘Why are we still standing still? And someone just got out of the car and went into the pharmacy or something, and none of the other cars cared. And as Americans, that’s not possible. But I’m becoming more and more like this”, he explains.
After living in Portugal for some time, Kimberly found that her perspective on many things was changing, and she felt completely removed from the “American materialism” she had become accustomed to.
“It’s one of those things that we only notice when we leave”, he analyzes. “Everyone I know in the United States would be offended if I said that, because they don’t know what I know.”
Kimberly goes on to explain that there isn’t the same “depth of things” around here, and she’s quite happy to do without them. “If everyone is going to have the same set of dishes, we don’t need to worry about our dishes”, he explains.
When it comes to learning Portuguese, Kimberly recognizes that it was not an easy process for her and that she is still “far from fluent”. However, he was always able to manage.
“It’s difficult to learn Portuguese, because the Portuguese want to practice their English”, he says. “And they are much better at speaking English than we speak Portuguese.”
Although Vilamoura, which is full of international residents, is not necessarily the place Kimberly would have chosen to stay long-term, she says it was the people, in particular the local cycling community, that made her settle with Mark in that Algarve city. .
“Basically, anyone who lives here either has a boat or plays golf,” he says. “And we didn’t have a boat and none of us played golf. But Mark met some fantastic cycling friends and there was a really good group of cyclists here.”
A tragic turn of events
The couple, pictured here in Ireland in 2019, were visiting Spain when Mark died suddenly. (Cortesia Kimberly Walker)
Although adjusting to life in a new country came with some challenges, Kimberly says she and Mark were happily finding their way. “We were solid,” he says. “We were very good. We were always together. We had been together for 37 years.”
In March, the couple were in Spain, visiting a friend, when Mark had a heart attack and died.
“It was terrible,” Kimberly remembers. “It shouldn’t have happened… But it did. I still haven’t completely accepted it. It’s been eight months, but it feels like eight days.”
Although the idea of returning to the US momentarily crossed his mind, he ultimately decided to stay here.
“A lot of people thought I would go home,” he says. “But it’s not my home anymore. I think I’ve been gone long enough and I was the one who was willing to leave in the first place.”
After making the necessary arrangements and dealing with the logistics of the situation, Kimberly returned to Portugal alone.
I feared “that four and a half hour trip [entre o aeroporto de Lisboa e o Algarve] with his bike on the roof (of the car) to an empty apartment” and found the journey incredibly difficult.
Upon returning to Vilamoura, Kimberly found herself alone and not knowing what to do next.
He decided to adopt a dog, named Honey, to have a “companion” and began to do the paperwork associated with his spouse’s death.
Kimberly says she was touched by the support she received from the local community, who rallied around her.
“I discovered that I had more friends here than I thought,” he says. “People came to my aid. And we need that right now.”
Although she’s not sure how long she’ll stay in the Algarve, Kimberly is certainly not ready to make any big changes just yet.
“I don’t want to start again”, she explains, adding that she is not prepared to move Mark’s things anywhere. “I’m going to stay here in the same apartment for another year, so I can organize things calmly”, he says.
Inevitable grief
Kimberly with her dog Honey, who was picked up from a shelter after Mark’s death in March this year. (Cortesia Kimberly Walker)
Kimberly says her family has given her enormous support, but no one has yet been able to make the trip to see her in Portugal.
“I have two sisters and they both talked about getting on a plane and coming with me”, he says. “But they are typical Americans, none of them have passports.”
Despite finding being alone incredibly difficult, Kimberly feels it would have been worse if she had returned to the United States.
“Not everything I do (here) is a memory without my husband,” she says, explaining that “everything hurts” when she returns to San Diego.
But while Portugal may not be filled with decades of Mark’s memories, his pain remains inescapable.
“I am experiencing a loss that is difficult to accept,” he says. “But half the people in my situation, half of all married people have to do this… I’m not that unique. It’s a little earlier than I wanted and obviously quick and abrupt…”
Kimberly and Mark had planned several trips together before his death, and she was looking forward to taking at least one this year.
After struggling to find another travel companion, she decided to take the trip they had planned to Norway alone. It was in July.
“The trip was fantastic…”, he says. “There were a lot of other single people… Everyone was very welcoming to me. And I can travel alone. I’ve traveled alone. I know I can travel alone, but traveling without Mark was too high a bar.”
Although she hopes to continue seeing the world, Kimberly emphasizes that she does not want to travel alone again and that “she will need company”. “So, if you know someone who wants to travel…”, he adds.
In August, Kimberly returned to the US and was finally reunited with her family for the first time since Mark’s death.
He explains that he made a point of taking this first return trip “out of the way”, so as not to collide with his niece’s wedding, a few months later.
“I knew the wedding was going to happen,” he says. “And I decided that I wanted my first trip back home to not coincide with the joy of the wedding. I wanted to get that out of the way, so the bride could have her moment of joy and I wouldn’t have to be such a disappointment.”
He recently returned to California for his wedding, which he describes as “sweet.”
“Marriages are going to be difficult for me,” he says. “So it was good to get a lot of that out of the way.”
This year, Kimberly faced her first Thanksgiving and is facing her first Christmas since her husband’s death. He planned a “normal day” for the first and will travel to the United Kingdom for the second.
Initially, Kimberly intended to spend Christmas in Portugal, but says family convinced her to spend the festive period in Oxfordshire, northwest of London, with friends she met while house sitting.
“Christmas is one day”, he says. “So it’s not an insurmountable situation.”
As for the future, Kimberly says she’s not “closing the door on anything,” but wants to give herself time to move forward and embrace whatever life has in store next.
“I may end up returning to the United States,” he says. “Right now, I think I’m doing really well here. And to do the work I need to do to get through this process, this is probably the best place.”
Currently, Kimberly has a temporary residence permit, which she is renewing, and may apply for a permanent residence permit or Portuguese citizenship in the future.
Kimberly says that now she feels like she has become more European than American in some ways and continues to study Portuguese.
“It seems like I lose faster than I learn,” he admits, before explaining that he will have to pass a Portuguese proficiency test if he goes ahead with his permanent residency plans.
Although she didn’t imagine entering this chapter of her life alone, Kimberly is determined to move forward despite the undeniable sadness she now carries with her.
She feels incredibly lucky to have been able to have so many incredible adventures with Mark by her side and plans to have many more when the time is right. “There’s a happy person in me that’s trying to come out every now and then, so I’m going to get her back,” he says.
“I want to honor my husband and being sad is part of that. So, as much as it hurts me, it’s very important to do it.”
