Sometimes it seems easier to chat with friends on apps than to cross town for a coffee. Not surprisingly, research shows a significant increase in the time we spend stuck at home. In the United States, the proportion of adults who have dinner or drinks with friends on an average night has fallen by more than 30% in the last 20 years. At the same time, the number of those who no longer leave home has increased by 99 minutes per day since 2003. This data reveals how in-person socialization is quickly being replaced by isolation, even in a hyperconnected world.
During the , analyzed by Lulu Peng and other researchers, it was noticed how social networks shaped people’s emotional regulation processes. Sinking in anxiety and fear, many have turned to the internet for relief. The possibilities of use offered by were used to deal with negative emotions, such as the selection of content that avoided emotional triggers. However, even these strategies were not enough to replace the comfort of face-to-face relationships.
Harmful use of social media has also been linked to a weakening of social support in real life. Studies such as that by Dar Meshi and Morgan Ellithorpe show that, although digital interactions are increasing, they do not offer the same emotional value. The support received online is superficial, while that in real life significantly reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety.
The problem, however, is not with the networks themselves, but with the use we make of them. Connectivity can be reconfigured to strengthen social ties. During lockdown, for example, neighborhood groups in Shanghai were revamped to offer emotional support. These digital spaces have become places of exchange and solidarity, filling a gap created by physical distancing. However, when the lockdown ended, many of these connections dissolved, revealing the fragility of these temporary interactions.
If we want to combat isolation, we need to redesign our digital and social practices. The first step is to recognize the limits of networks. They can connect, but they do not replace human contact. Studies suggest that small changes in behavior — such as spending more time in person — have significant impacts on happiness. Nick Epley, a psychologist at the University of Chicago, argues that, despite initial discomfort, interacting with strangers generates greater emotional satisfaction than isolation. Small acts of connection in the physical world can be more powerful than we realize.
It is also urgent to teach the next generations how to balance technology and real life. The solution is not to ban or demonize social networks, but to educate people on how to use them to promote meetings. Parents, schools and governments can collaborate to limit screen time and create opportunities for young people to explore interactions in the physical world.
Transformation begins with individual and collective choices. We need to question our own practices: are we cultivating connections or just collecting contacts? Are we seeking comfort in the virtual because it’s easier, or because we’ve forgotten how to interact in the real world? The answer to these questions can shape the future of many of our relationships.
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