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Egocentrism? Narcissism? Why do we shoot borrangues in the form of questions to each other?
The phenomenon walks in the mouths of psychologists for recently acquired an “official” name thanks to a new investigation – “boomerasking”It’s what they call it.
Here, chronicler Miguel Esteves Cardoso, who in the public about the concept, called him “bumerangariar“. But what is this shuttle we do so much and hate when they make ourselves to us?
This is a habit of egocentric-or “difficult” narcissistic conversation, as the chronicler-which is identical to the act of throwing a boomerang. The author gives an example:
“When I want to talk about the carnival that I’m going to pass in Venice, I shoot a verbal boomerang to the person I want to impress and ask, ‘So? Do you already know what you will do at Carnival? ‘ When she responds with the boredom of the usual, saying she doesn’t know yet and that in principle she won’t do anything, here is my great opportunity to tell the great trip to Venice. ”
In Portugal we are even “crude” to apply the techniquenote Miguel Esteves Cardoso. “‘You don’t have a dog, no?’ They always ask me that they want to spend a pleasant hourly room to talk about the dog,” he exemplifies.
A recent study, in January at the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, focuses on this act that comes down to the bottom to answer their own questions.
The three annoying types of “borrangaria”
Investigators Alison Wood Brooks of Harvard Business School, and Michael Yeomans, from Imperial College London, classified this behavior in Three distinct types and explored their implications.
The “Ask-Gabar”
The first category is ask-bragging, or the “Ask-Gabar”. It occurs when a person asks a question just in order to answer with a personal achievement who wants to share for thinking he will be had as impressive. Let us exemplify with a conversation that will surely happen on this planet next Saturday, the 15th.
“So what did your boyfriend offer you on Valentine’s Day?”, To which her friend replies, “Oh, we’ve just dinner and nothing more”-and follows a list of extravagant gifts received by the person who He pretended to be interested in his friend’s answer.
The “Ask-Que Dash”
The second type of “boimerangaria” identified by the researchers is the ask-complaining-the “Ask-Que Dash”. It involves asking a question followed by a complaint.
“Have you already commented anchovies in the pizza?” And without hearing the answer, whoever asked is already throbbing the presence of the fish on Mozzarella, because after all that’s all that asked.
The “Ask-Partililhal”
The end type of “boomerangaria” is the ask-sharing, or “Ask-Partililhal”in Portuguese, which happens when shooting this mental boomerang with a question, immediately followed by a neutral statement. It happens a lot with the dreams we have and that we like to share so much, note the authors of the study.
Why do we do it?
The study has inquired 155 individuals and concluded that many people put the “borrangaria” into practice because they believe it facilitates conversation and makes others feel included.
Some respondents have argued that preface a personal revelation with a question seems more appropriate than simply moving to all gas with their thoughts.
But then why does the “bomerangy” seem to have an effect exactly contrary to its supposed purpose? The investigators also realized this. According to the study, boomerang targets tend to consider those who throw it as egocentric and unusual.
The solution? Balance between revealing and listening, the researchers say.
Tomás Guimarães, Zap //
