It may seem like a rhetorical question, but there is: should we have expectations about our children? Is it healthy for us to project in them wills and ambitions that only belong to us, their parents?
In Netflix’s so -called “Adolescence”, the object of a recent episode of the very recommended podcast breakfast of this Sheet, The aggressor’s father expects his son to have fun and find some meaning, albeit fleeting, in football.
But in a key scene, the father does not have the courage to look at his son just when he needs to look, when he fails on the pitch, taking a defensible goal.
In real life, where it is not necessary to condense years or months in three or four hours, such a situation may not have so much dramatic potential – traumatic. But a continuum of these situations, I imagine yes.
What to do, then? Nothing to expect from children? Let life take them? Nothing to impose, just suggest? How to deal with inadequations and failures, receive them with haughtiness and coach phrases, even if they accumulate? Should we risk making them experience serial failures?
It is none of my certainties here, except perhaps that it is essential to always be together, welcome that we need to learn if we love our children.
At home, even though it didn’t require much, we had to deal with an unusual situation, the self -exemption of one of our daughters, who recently said that his great fear is “to disappoint us.”
Better pool: Even though trying to relieve our daughters loads from exaggerated expectations, expectations that would never be theirs, a fear of frustrating some expectation of others has materialized.
It would be false and something pathetic to say that we expect nothing, but the sport is definitely not the “locus” of any expectation. Although my two daughters showed huge potential in the pool, Paranauê intrinsic to swimming – to the hair, as I understand it, the greatest of them – undermined the activity; The tennis recently cheered a lot of Dudu, the youngest, who has indeed a promising backhand, but playing tennis in Sao Paulo is very expensive, to the limit of the unfeasible for journalist parents.
(I confess here: We do not prevent them from choosing to study journalism, but for survival reasons, we strongly advise such an option.)
The race is little more than a curiosity, even though the activity could work wonderfully well for their overall fitness. Incentive to pursue the “career” until there has been. When I was 10 or 11 years old, the oldest, the oldest, sprint in Pace 5 for a few meters with me at the end of my first marathon and even won a medal for it, thanks to the generosity of the employee responsible for delivering them.
I reported this passage in more detail in another column, even though the kind woman had asked me not to tell that “for anyone.”
Of course, a outcome is missing here, but I feel like the best moralist (it is worth clarifying: a person who finishes with a right moral precept his text or speech) can offer this definitive and accurate precept.
Wasn’t even the teaching of virtue, so expensive to the Greeks, wasn’t the result of the vanity of the elders?
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