Pregnant, but unhappy: “This is not my body”

The thought came to me for the first time around the 18th week of pregnancy, i.e. around the fourth month. A look in the mirror when walking past. That’s not me. The words evaporated as quickly as they had come. In sports, I see the reflection of my movements in the window. So do I look? After showering, I look at the mirror longer. A small but clear belly, wider hips. The A-cup is yesterday’s snow. I see the body of a pregnant woman. That is not meit sounds again.