Small but recurrent behavior can destroy even the strongest partnership. The expert reveals the five worst habits that lead to breakup.
It is said to drop the plate stone. This wisdom is especially true in relationships where small but recurrent inconveniences can destroy over time Even the strongest bond. Psychotherapist Jourdan Travers, who worked with more than a hundred couples, identified the five most devastating bad habits that most often lead to breakup. Find out if you are also committed to any of them until it is too late.
Expectation that the partner “guesses” your thoughts
Many people assume that their partner simply knows what they feel, what they are thinking about or what they are planning. Psychologists call this phenomenon “the illusion of transparency”. We think that our expectations should be obvious to the partner, especially if we have spent a lot of time together.
However, this is a big mistake. Instead of assumed that your partner will understand our needs from eyebrow movement or ambiguous hints, start communicating easily and directly. Express your feelings and needs clearly. This will avoid the spiral of mutual remorse and misunderstandings, which over time will significantly weaken your custody.
Constantly balanced: Who gave more and who fewer
Keeping imaginary accounting in a relationship is a journey to destruction. If you are constantly counting on the mind who has put in the relationship, who has been more sacrificed and comparing it with your own deposit, sooner or later you will conclude that one party has a “debt”.
The truth is that many things cannot be measured or recalculated. Emotions are not the money we can count. Over time in the constant comparison mode, we begin to expect something in exchange for support, kindness or nice word. And this is not the basis of a healthy relationship. The best solution is simply not to expect anything in return. After all, we do everything we do.
Passive-aggressive games that hurt
“It’s just a joke,” you say, but the partner feels pain. A seemingly innocent smile with a smile can cause deep wounds, especially if it is repeated. All passive-aggressive behaviors are incredibly burdensome for the person who is experiencing them.
If such biting notes begin to interfere with increasing areas of life, the romantic relationship will sooner or later start losing its foundations. Trust, sincerity and mutual kindness are absolute foundations that we must never disrupt. So if you are experiencing or using passive-aggressive allusion techniques, be aware of the possible consequences that you can regret in the future.
Managing the life of a partner
Is there someone who likes to listen to how to live, behave or what to do? Probably not. So why do we often have the right to manage a partner in long -term relationships? Determining whether something is doing right, picking food, hobbies, movies, date, and finally imposing feelings.
This kind of control and complete decision-making authority takes over the form of a parent-child relationship, not equal partners. Such behavior rapidly reduces comfort in the relationship and can lead to breakup after some time. Remember that each of us has the right to our own voice, decision and choice.
Inability to listen actively
If you listen to a partner just to add your opinion, criticize it or apply the topic to yourself – you make a big mistake. Lack of so -called. Active listening, ie real efforts to find out what a close person thinks without judging and transferring the topic on top of himself, is crucial in building a sense of security, proximity and understanding.
Yes, the exchange of opinions is important, but in difficult, emotional moments, it is often enough to hear the embarrassed half, hug it and simply be close. If you want them not to perceive you as arrogant or selfish, refrain from commenting and simply listen more often what the other side has in heart.
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