Most people think they can identify a liar through body language – dodging eyeings, restless hands, nervous energy. But according to a lawyer, the real track may be hidden in the vocabulary.
According to a well-known anecdote, there is an infallible way to realize that a lawyer is lying: his lips are moving.
But this is an anecdote. In the real world, lawyers never lie, of course – on the contrary, they are experts to find out who is lyingresorting to small clues that denounce the pinocheans.
Jefferson Fishera texas lawyer and communication coach, says that people who often lie resort to extreme wordsespecially a particular word.
“Never” It is an alarm signsays Fisher in the podcast. “The word never It is an extreme. The extremes are a clear indication that they are usually not telling the truth. ”
Fisher gives a concrete example in court. When someone is asked if they were sending SMS while driving, a misleading answer is usually something like: “No, I never send messages when I drive ”.
On the surface, it sounds confident – too confident. “Everyone sends messages while driving at some point,” explains Fisher. “That’s why never Word stands out. ”
It is not just what is said, but The way it is said. The liars, says Fisher, They respond immediately, without stopping to think – Because they are not really remembering a memory. They are jumping directly to an rehearsed version of the truth.
Then, how to confront A liar without climbing the situation?
Fisher recommends that the extreme used by the person, slowly and deliberately, is repeated: “Never send messages while?”
This phrase, quietly, can shake a lie. “What they do then is often saying, ‘Well, I mean, sometimes I drive‘”, disse Fisher.
This moment of retreat is the revelation. But, emphasize Fisher, “at this need we do not want to confront the liar: instead we must give him an exit. Say something like ifYou were sending messages, it doesn’t hurt‘Relieves the pressure, you can open the door to honesty. ”
But there is an even better strategy, says Fisher: silence.
“Silence is the supreme enemy of liars. They create dialogues with us in their minds. A break, even of just five seconds, can leave a liar so uncomfortable that it begins to give explanations – Without anyone having asked him anything.
