My father was diagnosed with a (vascular) dementia four years ago. His condition was still quite stable at the beginning, but is now getting worse. The situation is very sad for us children, but somehow we have arranged and accepted that the personality that once identified our father no longer exists. It is much worse for our mother. Even after four years, she is still a bit in the refusal: she still corrects my father constantly when things no longer come up with or he tells of “his reality” and when it gets too much, she starts singing loudly so that she does not hear what my father says. Unfortunately, my mother at the same time refuses any help (except for us children) – we have recommended a “regulars’ table for relatives” several times to exchange ideas with other affected people, but she doesn’t want to know anything about that. She also rejects outpatient day care for my father. At the same time, everything grows over our heads and my siblings and I are very afraid that our mom will go in front of the dogs. Have you had similar experiences like how have you dealt with it and do you have any tips for us how we can support our mother?
