The story of Marnie, a fictitious name, is a disturbing example of what many teenagers face in silence. Cases of psychological abuse and coercive control of boyfriends increase every year. Victim support organizations warn that it is urgent to educate, prevent and create safe spaces for young people, such as Marnie, can recognize the signs and ask for help. Silence is never the answer.
Marnie was 16 years old when her first serious relationship began. The friend who turned into a boyfriend showed a hitherto unknown side, and the initial enthusiasm quickly gave way to isolation, the constant surveillance of the mobile phone and the loss of freedom.
“When I went out with friends, I received phone calls and constant messages. I wouldn’t leave me alone to enjoy time with my friends. He appeared where I was with my friends, because I didn’t trust me or to do my nails.”
Control has become suffocating: prohibition of seeing friends, unfounded accusations, shouts and obsessive vigilance.
“He went out of my mother’s messages and hid the mobile phone. I didn’t even know she had tried to contact me.”
Only ten years later, Marnie sought help to deal with frequent panic attacks. It was diagnosed with disturbance of posttraumatic stress, resulting from the impact of repeated psychological abuse.
“I didn’t believe in the fact of what I had been in an abusive relationship, because they had never told me that was what was happening. I had no idea.”
Data from the British Organization Refuge, between April 2024 and March 2025, reveal a worrying increase in cases of violence in adolescent relations. Six out of every 10 young women and girls, who said they were victims of psychological abuse, admitted to having suffered from coercive control. Thirty -five percent received death threats and 62% suffered physical violence, and half said it was strangled or suffocated.
Kate Lexen, director of the Tender Organization, warns of another worrying phenomenon: children between 9 and 11 already discuss topics such as strangulation and display misogynistic behaviors, influenced by online content. For over 20 years, tender has organized educational sessions on healthy relationships in schools and schools.
“Without effective preventive education early on, the impacts will be astronomical.”
Refuge’s Elaha Walizadeh confirms the increase in complaints and states that abuse often begins with subtle signs.
“Coercive control, preventing them from seeing friends or family, is the beginning of a standard that gets worse.”
There are signs that denounce this kind of abuses in relationships, family and friends attention are fundamental to detect them:
- Social isolation
- Constant Surveillance of the phone
- Verbal threats
- Prohibition of individual activities
- Emotional manipulation
