Recognizing manipulation is the first step to regaining control of your own narrative.
From the silent halls of Roman courts, where cunning orators manipulated audiences through rhetoric, to the behind-the-scenes of personal and professional relationships today, the art of using words to dominate or influence remains.
The phenomenon of emotional manipulation — defined as “the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation” — has been clearly described by experts in the field of communication, according to Psychology Today.
In intimate contexts or online, there are phrases that sound harmless — “trust me”, “you’re exaggerating” — but that, according to psychologists, operate as subtle mechanisms to make you vulnerable. Specialized websites point out that recognizing the pattern can be the key to maintaining autonomy.
Next, check out 10 expressions widely used by manipulative people — based on various psychology sources — so you can identify them, reflect and, if necessary, act.
10 phrases that manipulative people frequently use, according to psychologists
1. “Trust me…”
This phrase, in an apparent supportive tone, may hide the attempt to make you give up on questions in front of the manipulator.
2. “I’m just saying…”
A way to comment or criticize without committing yourself and still planting doubt in yourself.
3. “You are being too sensitive”
Used to silence your reactions and make you question your own feelings.
4. “I don’t want to fight”
It invokes peace, but is often used to end dialogue when the other person tries to point out a mistake or demand accountability.
5. “I was just kidding”
It reduces offensive or disrespectful comments, making you feel guilty for reacting “badly” to the “joke”.
6. “You owe me [isso]”
Transform favors or gestures of affection into a currency, creating obligation where there should be spontaneity.
7. “No one else will love you like I do”
A classic of affective manipulation: it creates dependence, fear of being without the person and weakens your self-esteem.
8. “I’m sorry you feel this way”
It may seem like an apology, but there is no acknowledgment of your own action or failure, only your reaction.
9. “I never said that”
A denial that undermines your confidence in your own records or memory, typical of what is called “gaslighting”.
10. “If you really cared…”
It uses your affection or care as leverage to make you do something that you may not want to do or that involves disproportionate expectations.
Knowing that these phrases exist is not enough — the next step is to look at who uses them frequently, in what context, and how you feel.
When communication feels more like a trap than a dialogue, there are warning signs. Recognizing manipulation is the first step to regaining control of your own narrative.
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