In the corporate environment, there is a lot of talk about the challenge of leading. Engage people, inspire movements, build culture. However, little is said about the other side of this relationship: being led.
Because, somehow, even those who are their own boss are led by something. Whether for a purpose, for goals, for circumstances or for conscience itself. There will always be factors, people or contexts that guide us, and part of professional maturity is recognizing when it is time to let yourself be guided.
The relationship between leaders and followers is historic, but in current times, when the speed of change exceeds our ability to anticipate them, both roles require fluid communication, emotional resilience and strategic clarity.
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More than that, they require accepting the complexity of human relationships and understanding that not everything will be under our control. And it never will be.
It is at this point that the “Let Them” theory, by Mel Robbins, an author specializing in behavior change, gains relevance. Loosely translated as “let it go”, the idea seems simple at first glance: accept what doesn’t depend on you. A constant exercise of giving up controlling people, results or other people’s expectations and focusing energy on what is within your reach.
If a colleague chooses a different path, let them. If global leadership sets a strategy you don’t agree with, accept it. If someone doesn’t recognize your effort, move on.
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And not out of indifference, but out of focus. Robbins reminds us of a truth that experienced leaders know well: energy wasted trying to control the uncontrollable is energy that is not applied to what can really make an impact.
As Martin Seligman, a reference in positive psychology, states: “turning the page is under your voluntary control; the muscles that change the size of the pupil are not”. Recognizing what is beyond our reach is the first step towards a mature professional life.
Leading and being led require the same skill: discernment. Knowing when to act and when to accept. When to influence and when to follow. When to insist and when to redirect efforts. Being led is also an act of trust of believing in the other’s vision, allowing yourself to learn and contribute without needing to control all the variables.
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Robert Hogan, an expert in organizational psychology, reminds us that the best way to measure leadership in corporations is in terms of the performance of the team or unit of which the leader is in charge. This reinforces that leadership is about influencing what is in our control and letting go of what we cannot shape. Just like the leader, who strengthens the relationship by transmitting trust and collaborating with purpose.
We often ask ourselves what actually makes us professionally mature. The answer is not always in the length of your career, in your achievements or in your titles. Maturity is understanding that control is not synonymous with success. It is the ability to accept, redirect and move forward with purpose.
It is navigating with excellence within what we can move and having serenity in the face of what we cannot. As decision-making expert Annie Duke points out, “In many of our decisions, we’re not betting against someone else. We’re betting against all the future versions of ourselves that we’re not choosing.”
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And perhaps this is a lesson that goes far beyond professional life.
The maturity of dealing with what we do not control is what allows us to live more lightly, build more genuine relationships and exercise more human leadership inside and outside of work. So, what are you going to let go of today?
