“All happy families look like each other, all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way”: Tolstoy knew everything
David and Victoria Beckham’s family drama attracts a generation that isn’t afraid of “no contact”
by Lisa Respers FranceCNN
For a few hours this week, it seemed like the world and all its horrors came to a standstill over a topic that took over the Internet: Brooklyn Peltz Beckham.
People celebrated every bit of it after the eldest son of David and Victoria Beckham released six slides on his Instagram Stories accusing his famous parents of planting stories about him in the media, portraying “inauthentic relationships” on social media and trying to ruin his marriage to his wife, Nicola Peltz.
Peltz Beckham launched his speech with a declaration of intent: “I don’t want to reconcile with my family.”
With this, although he himself did not use the term, Peltz Beckham entered into the fervent discourse that shakes Generation Z and their Generation X and Boomer parents: going “no contact”, or abandoning family members considered too toxic and incapable of changing.
In private and very public conversations on TikTok, the idea of ”having no contact” is debated on all sides. On the one hand, there are those who choose to leave relationships — often hailed by their peers for choosing themselves over whatever situation led to the breakup. On the other side are parents who have been ostracized by their children, some expressing confusion and others finding their own avenue of influence by telling their side of the story.
Karl Pillemer, professor of human development at Cornell and author of the book “Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them,” tells CNN that while there is increased awareness of adult children not getting in touch, in part thanks to social media, there is no hard data to show that there has been an increase.
In 2020, Pillemer told the Cornell Chronicle that he “found that 27% of Americans ages 18 and older had cut off contact with a family member, the majority of whom reported that they were upset about the breakup.”
What Karl Pillemer now sees at play is that younger people, including Gen Z, are receiving more support on social media when they decide to break up with their families, even as parents struggle to understand the language their children are using to express why this is happening, such as “gaslighting” and “narcissistic parenting.”
“On the one hand, social media encouragement has become more acceptable,” says Pillemer. “Secondly, there is a kind of disconnect between what some young people seem to expect from the parent-child relationship, which is very different from the parents’ understanding of what they were doing.”
According to Karl Pillemer, adult children no longer have to remain connected to the family because “blood is thicker than water”, since the younger generation has “less of the feeling that I will live with this relationship if it is not satisfactory, no matter what”.
When it comes to the Beckhams, Karl Pillemer says he remembers a conversation he had on an episode of the “Sibling Rivalry” podcast, hosted by famous siblings Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson, about negotiating family relationships through social media.
“I would say that this is not a good way to deal with distances,” he says. “It draws an incredibly powerful line in the sand when you expose the entire relationship. And it’s very difficult, then, because these things live forever.”
A celebrity dynasty
Another part of the appeal of the Beckham scandal is the behind-the-scenes look at a powerful celebrity family.
From the moment footballer David Beckham met then Spice Girls singer Victoria Adams during a football game in 1997, the couple seemed to be living in a fairytale.
Their firstborn was an integral part of their love story.
Named after the New York neighborhood where his parents discovered they were waiting for him, he was the ring bearer, aged four months, at the couple’s nuptials in 1999, at Luttrellstown Castle, in Dublin, Ireland.
As he grew up, Brooklyn Peltz Beckham seemed to struggle to find his niche.
He was a barista, model, photographer and aspiring chef, with his own line of hot sauces. The son of these celebrities seemed to be looking for his place in a world that had known him since his birth.
He addressed the subject in “What I See”, a book with his photographs, published in 2017, when he was 18 years old.
“I think being in the public eye didn’t affect me much. I’m used to it,” he said at the time. “Obviously, as a teenager, I have to be more aware that someone could be taking images of me without knowing it.”
His father also addressed the subject in a 2023 Netflix documentary series, “Beckham,” at one point becoming emotional when talking about his four children.
“We tried to give our children as normal an education as possible,” said David Beckham. “But one of us captained England and another Posh Spice.”
The family also includes sons Romeo and Cruz and daughter Harper.
“And we could be shit, but we’re not,” he added. “And that’s why I say I’m so proud of my children.”
That public perception changed this week when Peltz Beckham took to Instagram, criticizing his parents’ “performative social media posts” and saying that the facade “has been an element of the life” he was born into.
CNN has contacted representatives of the Beckham family for comment.
The bubble bursts
The fight between the Beckham family and their eldest son and the latter’s wife was just a matter of tabloids and social media.
The rumors began surfacing shortly after Beckham, 26, married Peltz, 31, in a Palm Beach ceremony in April 2022, in which the bride wore a Valentino Couture gown — not a dress designed by her future mother-in-law, a fashion mogul.
There were so many rumors that the latest member of the Beckham family gave an interview to the Sunday Times in October 2022, denying that she was at odds with her in-laws.
“I don’t know why they say feud,” Peltz told the newspaper. “I mean, maybe they spotted something and now they’re saying it’s a feud. No family is perfect!”
Brooklyn Peltz Beckham revealed how far from perfect he is by publishing a series of accusations against his family this week.
“I’m standing up for myself for the first time in my life,” wrote Peltz Beckham.
It was a straightforward move from a young man who many believe had an easy life from the start.
But it was precisely this perception of the “good life” that helped to capture the interest of the public, who were faced with the fact that, even in the public eye, a family separation can be devastating.
