Sleeping with the enemy – Part 2 – 12/09/2025 – Lorena Hakak

In recent days we have been confronted with the shocking scene of someone with whom he had a relationship. That’s what we see. The outcome is grim: the woman had both legs amputated and remains hospitalized in serious condition. This is yet another case that raises the statistics of . According to the Violence Atlas 2025, from Ipea (Institute for Applied Economic Research), among records of violence against women and girls perpetrated by family members, partners, ex-partners or caregivers, in 2023, 64.3% were classified as .

This is my second column on this topic (the previous one was “”, published in Sheet on September 3, 2024). I didn’t want to change the title because it brings essential information: most cases of violence against women occur at home, and the perpetrator lives with the victim. On Sunday, when reading (“”)’s column, my attention was drawn to the way she describes the loss of autonomy she suffered in her own home. She fled from her attacker, hiding in the rooms of the house, until, one day, she managed to have him removed and was then able to reclaim the entire space. I would say more: she once again took control of the direction of her own life and her own freedom.

Last Saturday (6), I participated in the workshop organized by colleagues Giovanna Úbida and Eduardo Mendes at Fundação Getúlio Vargas. The lectures I attended presented data, results and new reports on this endemic issue that shames our society. Several points caught my attention. How can we talk about the family, the basis of society, when violence often occurs at home? Has this ancient institution failed? I would say no. However, we cannot use the family, whatever its configuration, to protect the aggressor. If it is vulnerable or dysfunctional, it is necessary to protect its members and intervene to put an end to the attacks.

The 1988 Brazilian Constitution took an important step in recognizing the problem and protecting victims by including the protection of family entities: “The family, the basis of society, has special protection from the State.” (art. 226). Still in this article, it is established that the State will ensure assistance to the family and guarantee each of its members mechanisms to inhibit violence in their relationships. At that moment, the law evolved and, with it, also evolved, in a certain way, the very definition of family as a nucleus to be protected and to live free from violence.

On the other hand, legal practice distorted, for many years, the notion of self-defense, converting the so-called “thesis of legitimate defense of honor” into an instrument to victimize the aggressor and blame the victim. According to the lecture by professor Luciana Ramos (FGV Direito SP), until the middle of the last century, legal interpretation ended up protecting the male honor of the aggressor more than the integrity of the victim. The thesis of legitimate defense of honor continued to be used and was gradually rejected by the courts throughout the late 20th century and, in 2023, was definitively declared unconstitutional by the Federal Supreme Court.

The Maria da Penha Law came into force in 2006, after much struggle and pressure for stricter punishment for aggressors. And, very different from decades ago, the 2015 Feminicide Law once and for all put a stop to the times of lenient legislation in the case of homicide when the victim is targeted because she is a woman.

There is still a long way to go. This type of violence cannot be acceptable or covered up by society. Strengthening prevention and protection is essential. Preventive work must be present in schools to raise awareness among young people about what domestic violence is, its types and consequences, in addition to addressing issues related to masculinity. In addition to criminal liability, it is important, at the same time, to create reflective groups to work with men who have committed some type of violence, seeking to raise awareness about their actions and prevent new crimes, as Judge Teresa Cabral does.


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