The couple had to make the very important decision of adopting their recently orphaned niece.
A woman took to Reddit users for advice, asking if she was right about not feeling guilty about not being able to take care of someone else’s child.
The author of this post said that her husband’s sister died of a drug overdose. She left behind two children, Rose, almost 17, and Lilly, 7.
The 23-year-old woman explained that she and her 26-year-old husband live on the east coast of the United States, while his family lives in California.
“My husband’s only family is his mother, who lives in a small house. She is retired and has a very low income, so she cannot take care of two children,” the woman wrote.
Rose, 17, plans to live on her grandmother’s couch until she goes to college next year. Still, seven-year-old Lilly needs a long-term solution.
“For now, Lilly is living with my mother-in-law, but for a number of reasons, she won’t be there for long,” the post’s author continues.
“My husband and his mother want Lilly to live with us so she doesn’t end up in an orphanage. However, I am against it. And there are reasons for that,” she wrote in her post.
The main reason a woman does not want to accept Lilly is the man’s lack of responsibility. As she herself explained, her husband cooks only two or three times a year. He prefers to play video games when he is not working.
“My husband is in the military and often works overtime and night shifts,” she wrote. So, given the husband’s busy schedule and frequent work commitments out of town, the woman fears that she will be primarily responsible for Lilly’s care.
Another problem is that the woman does not plan to have children of her own. In her post, she questions whether it’s right for her to adopt a seven-year-old she’s never even met.
An additional challenge in caring for Lilly is ADHD and behavioral issues, which are even more of a concern.
This situation, of course, created great tension between the partners.
What do internet users think about it?
Reddit users offered their condolences to both Lilly and the author of the post. One person wrote: “Basically the man is suggesting she become a single mom. I feel bad for her niece, but if the author of the post doesn’t want to be the host, that’s her choice. I’m well aware that orphanages are grim, but this seems like the best option in this situation.”
Someone else pointed out that the husband’s willingness to accept Lilly was unfair to his wife, who would have to take on many additional responsibilities. “Looks like the man doesn’t want to say no and be seen as the bad guy, even though he has no way to take care of the child,” read one comment.
“He’s in the military and when he’s not deployed, he works more than 12 hours a day. The author of the post mentioned that she is studying and also working 12 hour shifts. How would she raise her niece? Should you quit your job? Give up education? I’m sorry, but that’s not fair to her,” the comment reads.
Someone added: “I feel sorry for my niece but this woman has never even met her. Yeah, you can’t blame her for not wanting to be a mother to a kid she doesn’t even know!”
What do you think about this situation? Share in the comments.
