They are not even hungry, but they want food. Be careful not to be attacked by the “seagulls” of romantic relationships.
It has possibly already happened to the reader — or, in the worst case scenario, it is happening. “Seagulling” (“seagull”, free translation) is a relatively common term for those who know the slang of dating. It is used to describe those situations in which a person has no true romantic interest in another, but, still, for whatever reason, does everything to prevent that person from moving on or meeting someone new.
The concept was recently explained by Bruce Y. Lee, doctor and author of an article on the subject in which he compared this attitude with seagull behaviorwho, even when they are not hungry, grab the food they see in front of them, just to prevent others from taking it.
In relationships, there is often a “seagull”. It’s the person who doesn’t want to make a commitment, but also doesn’t want to lose the other’s attention, affection or availability.
The expert explains that “seagulling” can come in several forms. The “seagull” of the relationship arranges meetings, gets physically involved, shows affection, but without any serious intention of building a serious relationship. And everything is fine — if it weren’t for lack of honesty and transparency towards the other person involved. The problem is right there: instead of making it clear that they do not intend to commit, the person has expectations and gives contradictory signals that keep the other emotionally trapped.
And the phenomenon is not limited to the beginning of a relationship, Lee points out. It can also happen at the end. Even after losing interest or even ending the relationship, the person continues to be around and makes the process of leaving difficult. It becomes difficult for the other person and even for the “seagull” to move forward.
Three signs of “seagull”
The doctor identifies three main signs that someone may be acting this way.
The first is the inconsistency: one day, the person appears present, attentive and communicative; the next, she becomes distant, cold. Sudden change can create an intense emotional dynamic, made up of ups and downs, which reinforces the connection and makes it difficult to let go.
The second sign is the fact that make it difficult to move on. Whenever the other person tries to break up or show interest in someone new, the seagull comes with promises, renewed attention or emotional appeals.
A third clue is the lack of integration in that person’s personal life. Those who “gaivo” others tend to hide their relationship from friends, family and even social media. Basically, he avoids public signs of commitment.
