Children’s Day after divorce: What does the law say about it?
Many parents wonder who has the right to spend time with their child on his or her holiday. Pursuant to Art. 113 of the Family and Guardianship Code, both parents have the right, but also the obligation, to maintain contact with the child after divorce. This applies to every situation, regardless of with whom the minor resides permanently. This right is the foundation that allows you to demand your presence in your child’s life on important days, and no one can arbitrarily limit it without a court order.
The key to avoiding misunderstandings is to look at your parenting plan or divorce decree. This is where detailed records about holidays, birthdays and Children’s Day are usually found. If June 1 falls on the day when the child stays with the other parent, it is worth checking whether the document provides for any exceptions in this matter. Appropriate preparation and knowledge of your rights allows you to avoid last-minute arguments that hurt the youngest the most.
4 wise ways to organize June 1
The simplest solution if parents live close to each other is to divide the day in half. The child can spend the morning with mom and the afternoon with dad. However, such an arrangement requires great flexibility and putting aside mutual grudges. It allows the child to feel that both parents are involved in his holiday, and the joyful atmosphere is not interrupted by a long separation from one of the caregivers.
Another proven model is the annual alternating system. It consists in spending Children’s Day with one parent in even-numbered years, and with the other parent in odd-numbered years. It’s a fair deal that eliminates the need for annual negotiations. The child knows what to expect, and parents can plan larger attractions or trips in advance, knowing that it will be their turn to celebrate this year.
Another common practice is to celebrate “double” Children’s Day. If June 1 falls in the middle of the week and falls on one parent, the other parent can organize the celebration on the next weekend. This is often the best option for a child – instead of one day of attractions, they have two separate holidays. This arrangement takes the pressure off the toddler’s shoulders and allows him to fully enjoy time with each parent separately.
Spending time together, although it seems ideal, is a solution only for a few. Psychologists warn that going to the cinema or for ice cream together is only safe when the relationships between adults are really good and free from tensions. If there is regret behind the smiles, the child will sense it. Moreover, a joint meeting may give the minor false hope that his parents will get back together, which can be very emotionally harmful.
The good of the child versus the pitfalls of adults
One of the biggest pitfalls after a divorce is trying to bid on more expensive gifts. Buying love and competing to see who can give your child a better gadget is a way to nowhere. From a psychological point of view, the primary principle should be the child’s well-being, i.e. his or her comfort and sense of security. Instead of an expensive gift, a child needs much more quiet time and attention from a parent who does not criticize his or her former partner in his or her presence.
It is very important not to force your child to choose who he or she prefers to spend this day with. The compulsion of loyalty is a huge burden for a young person. A child loves both parents and being put in the position of a decision-maker makes him feel guilty towards the person he did not choose. Adults should establish a plan between themselves, taking into account the child’s age and needs, not their ambitions or the desire to get back at their ex-spouse.
Controlling emotions when handing over the child to the care of the other parent is a key moment on June 1. Even if we feel angry or sad inside, it is worth staying calm and smiling. The child should feel that he or she has our “permission” to have fun with the other parent. If he sees our depressed face, he will not be able to fully enjoy the holiday, thinking about whether we are okay.
Alternating care and celebration
In an alternating care system, i.e. the 50/50 model, the division of special occasions may be more natural, but still requires communication. Flexibility is key here – sometimes it is worth postponing the exchange date by one day so that the child can take part in a specific event organized by dad or mom. If a live conversation can be difficult and causes conflicts, it is worth switching to a written form, such as e-mail or text message, which allows you to cool down your emotions and focus on specifics.
It is worth remembering that the above tips are of a general nature and are only an inspiration to build good relationships. Every family is different, so final decisions on how to spend time should always be consistent with the individual court decision issued in your case. The most important goal on June 1 remains a child’s smile, which is only possible when adults can communicate beyond their divisions.
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