Would this be what Kevin McCallister would look like if he ended up killing one of the thieves?
Despite the risk of infection and serious injury, clinician Daniel Funnell believes that Harry and Marv managed to escape Kevin McCallister’s traps alive.
If the story of “Home Alone” had happened in real life, would all the violent pranks that Kevin McCallister plays on the thieves Harry and Marv have had as comical an outcome as in the film? After all, being forgotten by your family during the holidays and ending up having to kill two thieves would easily turn the iconic Christmas comedy into a psychological thriller.
Doctor Daniel Funnell, an intensive care specialist who treats life-threatening injuries in Intensive Care, decided to put this question to the test and recently detailed the famous brutal traps from the film.
The first serious incident occurred when Kevin throws a small steel ball to a thief at point blank range. Funnell explained that a direct impact to the groin could cause a severe hematoma, cutting off blood flow and potentially leading to tissue necrosis, requiring emergency surgery or the removal of a testicle.
“Os testicles are completely unprotected“, Funnell told IFLScience. “If it hits them hard enough, they will absorb all the impact. Other than the eye, it is perhaps the worst place to be hit by a steel ball at close range.” Although fatal outcomes are rare, the pain and complications would likely incapacitate most actual victims.
Next came the iconic red-hot doorknobwhich Funnell described as a burn severe enough to require specialized medical care. Hand burns present a high risk of infection, as damaged skin becomes an entry point for bacteria. Although sepsis did not set in immediately, the pain in itself would be “debilitating”, he said, referring to the heightened sensitivity of the hand in the neurological “sensory homunculus”.
Already the moment when Marv was hit by a nail in the foot It carries a high risk of tetanus, a rare but extremely dangerous infection that causes muscle spasms and respiratory failure. “It’s exceptionally rare,” he says.
Being hit in the face with a full can of paint, he said, could cause devastating brain and facial trauma. Establishing an airway would be challenging if the nose and mouth were crushed, potentially requiring emergency surgical intubation at the scene. “This is really the first potential fatality“, he considers.
Not all traps were so lethal. Setting Harry’s hat on fire isn’t particularly dangerous, as is the tarantula, which is probably a docile species. The biggest risk associated with this spider is actually the crowbar that Harry uses to scare it away.
“A crowbar to the abdomen could definitely rupture the spleen or the liver. Both are incredibly vascular organs. The liver, for example, contains about a tenth of the body’s entire blood supply at any given time. So it could bleed to death quickly”, he warns.
Surprisingly, the fall from the treehouse at the story’s climax received nothing more than a shrug, with twisted ankles and broken noses being the most likely results.
In the end, the doctor concluded that, despite the Hollywood-style exaggeration, Harry and Marv could survive the original film. Ufa!
