Open relationships: why many start but few last. It takes work, communication and problems that already existed.
In recent years, open relationships and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy have gained more attention and adoption, especially among younger adults.
The idea of being able to love or be sexually involved with more than one person — with mutual consent — has even been celebrated on social media as an alternative to traditional monogamy.
However, despite growing interest, This scenario often doesn’t last; Many couples end up returning to “normal” relationships.
Justin R. Garcia, executive director of the Kinsey Institute, considers that non-monogamy has been discussed in cultural terms and as an expression of emotional and sexual freedom.
But many end quickly. The expert’s research, indicates , even shows that most people who try open relationships do not maintain them in the long term.
This interruption occurs mainly due to three factors.
It takes work
One of the main obstacles highlighted by the researcher is the emotional biology that favors exclusive and intense bonds with a single partner, something that would have been advantageous throughout human evolution. The brain — argues Garcia — “is not particularly well equipped” to manage deep, ongoing intimacy with more than one person at the same time. Even on a neurological level…it’s more work.
Communication
An open relationship is synonymous with more complex communication. To function in a healthy way, they depend on a continuous and in-depth dialogue between everyone involved: issues of time and attention, or feelings of jealousy or insecurity. For many, this need for constant negotiation and transparency becomes, in practice, more demanding than most expected.
Problems
Furthermore, Garcia highlights that opening a relationship often does not resolve existing problems, such as discrepancies in sexual desire, jealousy or feelings of neglect – which can, instead of disappearing, become more intense when new partners are introduced. This can lead couples who initially believed that non-monogamy would “save” their relationship to return to monogamy — or break up altogether.
But, as with everything, there is no universal model that works for everyone. For some couples, especially those with genuine desire and solid communication, nonmonogamy can be a satisfying and lasting experience. Still, research shows that for most, open relationships require a level of emotional and logistical work that often causes partners to end up opting for traditional monogamy.
