- According to the ZERO TO THREE website, a two-year-old child can easily understand simple rules regarding consent to touch
- Replacing forced kisses with a simple high-five or hand wave builds your toddler’s necessary independence.
- According to information from the HealthyChildren website, children who have full control over their own bodies are much less likely to fall victim to abuse
- Immediately stopping the tickling after hearing the word stop gives the child a very clear signal that his or her important decisions are respected
Why is it wrong to force a child to kiss its aunt? We explain
Certainly, many of us remember meetings where adults told us to kiss every aunt and uncle. Today, we often encourage our little ones to greet us in the same way, even when they run away and hide behind our legs. However, it is worth considering changing this approach, because: learning about the limits of one’s own body it can start at a very early age.
As we can read on the ZERO TO THREE website, a child of about two years is already able to understand simple rules regarding consent to touch. When we stop forcing our toddler into physical contact, we help him discover his inner voice and understand what really suits him. Such everyday situations make children aware that they have the right to decide about themselves, which also teaches them important empathy towards other people.
How to teach a small child the limits of his own body? Simple ways for everyday life
Taking care of your toddler’s physical independence does not have to be difficult, and it is worth starting with small, home habits. Instead of imposing hugs in front of guests, it might be a good idea to introduce a few clear rules for your child:
- giving choices when greetings (the child can give a high five, wave his hand or just say the word “hello” out loud)
- anticipating touch during daily care (it is worth telling the toddler that at this moment we will lift him up or start wiping his bottom)
- teaching the real names of body parts (thanks to this, the child can say without shame exactly where he or she feels pain or discomfort)
- immediate response to the word “no” or “stop” (even during innocent tickling or simple play on the carpet)
Respecting such refusals gives the child a clear signal that his or her opinion counts and is very important to the parent. Over time, the toddler learns that no one has the right to touch him without his express consent.
The child refuses to wash his head. How to take care of hygiene and respect boundaries?
Sometimes early autonomy clashes with everyday necessity, for example when you have to wash dirty hair and your toddler protests loudly in the bathtub. In such moments, it is worth naming the child’s feelings and showing him that we hear his sincere opposition. We can simply say that we see his great reluctance, but washing his hair is necessary to wash off all the sand after returning from the playground.. To maintain your toddler’s sense of control, it may be a good idea to offer him a little choice in this difficult situation. For example, a child can decide whether he wants to hold a small towel over his eyes or whether he prefers to let the water run down his back.
How does making decisions about your own body protect your child in the future? Important facts
Allowing your child to refuse to hug Grandma may seem like just a fad to some people, but it has much deeper implications for their safety. When a little person knows from the very beginning that no one can force him into physical contact, he builds an extremely strong protective shield.. This knowledge is extremely helpful when your toddler grows up and starts going to kindergarten on his own or spending time with peers.
According to information published on the HealthyChildren website, children who feel in control of their own bodies are much less likely to fall victim to abuse. If they know from home that their opposition is powerful, they will recognize dangerous situations much more easily and tell a trusted adult about them more quickly. They also learn the important difference between a good secret, like a surprise party, and a bad secret that a stranger tells them to keep from mom and dad.
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