When sexual desire disappears with intimacy, does that mean the relationship has to end? What is fraysexuality?
Maybe you haven’t realized it yet (it’s more likely that you have), but for some people, sexual desire is more intense in front of someone unknown or unfamiliar.
Attraction, for this group of people, arises precisely from mystery, distance, the absence of intimacy. But as the emotional connection grows and the other person becomes closer, this desire diminishes or disappears.
This is the phenomenon described by fraissexualidadeconsidered a sexual orientation and often confused with intimacy issues or fear of commitment.
Fraysexuality is part of the asexuality spectrum and is often presented as the opposite of demisexuality. While a demisexual person tends to feel sexual attraction only after creating an emotional connection, a fraysexual person feels desire mainly before that intimacy develops. As the relationship deepens, romantic feelings may remain, but sexual attraction toward that partner may even cease to exist.
Experts warn that this guidance is often misunderstood, even in a therapeutic context. According to sexual psychotherapist Silva Neves, in an article in , fraysexual people can be wrongly interpreted as having avoidant attachment patterns or difficulties in dealing with intimacy.
For those who have never heard of this guideline, the loss of desire within a relationship may seem like a sign of a psychological problem, when it could, in fact, simply be the way that person experiences sexual attraction.
Not everything is what it seems
Fraysexuality It does not mean, however, an inability to commit, an obligatory preference for casual sex or a tendency to get “bored” quickly.. Fraysexual people can build deep, stable and lasting romantic relationships. Some of these relationships may not include sex, explains the psychotherapist; others may assume non-monogamous or open models, as long as this is clearly agreed and meets the needs of the people involved.
Like other guidelines, fraysexuality exists on a spectrum. In some cases, the attraction disappears quickly; in others, it disappears gradually. A person may also identify as fraysexual and, at the same time, as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or another orientation.
For partners, the experience can be difficult to understand because decreased sexual desire is often interpreted as rejection. But experts emphasize that the absence of sexual attraction does not mean a lack of love, affection or appreciation of the relationship.
