On the dusty roads of Radiator Springswhere Lightning McQueen and his friends live, a meteor shower threatened to destroy the miniature cars in a scene that the king of disaster movies, Roland Emmerichwould approve. Happily, Buzz Lightyear was on his way to save the day, driving Chase’s car from “Paw Patrol.”
As my toddler and I acted out this scenario with his toys, I was overcome with a sense of guilt that I hadn’t expected.
He’s just a little kid, and we watch all these cartoons together. That’s a lot of screen time.
I’m my harshest critic of my son’s screen time, allowing him to watch snippets of his favorite TV shows about twice a day. I walked in with a sinking feeling in my stomach, convinced that somehow a movie made to be watched on any kind of screen would make me feel bad about my son’s taste in intellectual properties aimed at kids.
But that’s not what happened.
Technology is not the enemy in “Toy Story 5”, but the screens end up bringing some conflicts to the story. Pixar’s latest production finds Bonnie’s beloved toys disheartened by Lilypad’s arrival. The tablet threatens to consume the 8-year-old’s every waking moment, leaving no time to create memories with her make-believe partners.
Indeed, a long-abandoned toy robot tells cowgirl Jessie (voiced by Joan Cusack) early in the film that “the age of toys is over” and that screens have taken over. Lilypad comes bouncing into Bonnie’s life and room because her parents want to help their imaginative daughter make friends in real life, even if those friendships begin in the digital world. Bonnie’s parents are a little desperate, but at the same time deeply hesitant about introducing their daughter to screen time.
What unfolds is the kind of touching emotion you’d expect, accompanied by a heartfelt recognition of how difficult — and even painful — it can be to manage your children’s relationship with technology and screens in a world increasingly dependent on them. But I felt relief that the film is not a condemnation of parents who allow their children to use technology; rather, it is an encouragement to participate in their children’s digital lives as actively as possible.
Our family may still be years away from facing the issues that Bonnie and her parents need to resolve in this fifth adventure, but before that, these are the lessons I will keep:
Parents set the tone
If a group of toys walked through the door of your house, went through all the rooms and came out the other side, would you notice? Or would you, like a family shown in the film, be so absorbed by the device of your choice, your face illuminated by a bluish light, that you wouldn’t notice anything?
The scene is small, but it quietly highlights a big issue: Device use is a family-wide issue. There is no way to examine a child’s relationship with screens without observing how everyone uses them at home. This happens especially because younger children reproduce what they see, and do so without nuance, according to Josephine Hunt, a longtime public school teacher and children’s mental health advocate in Park Ridge, New Jersey.
“We might be using a device to answer emails or do work, write proposals or projects, but our kids see us looking at a screen and don’t really understand it,” Hunt said.
Simple, age-appropriate conversations about device use can help children understand the difference between necessary engagement and leisure. Discussing screen time with your child can also help you recognize signs of overuse — like tired eyes or neck pain — and give parents the opportunity to start a conversation about the issue.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry estimated in 2025 that, on average, children ages 8 to 18 in the United States spend 7.5 hours a day watching or using screens.
Limiting or reducing unnecessary device usage time across the family would be ideal, and involving children in discussions about these limits could be key to enforcing them, Hunt added.
Human connection above all
An open dialogue can also help kids prepare for situations like deciding how much device time is appropriate when friends are home or how to deal with cyberbullying — two scenarios Bonnie faces in the new film.
When Bonnie goes to a long-awaited sleepover with the friends she’s been hoping to have, the gathering turns into a Lilypad Fair, with each girl glued to her device. The toys are devastated to see this happen, and it’s equally heartbreaking to watch her disappointment turn into conformity. Later, these same so-called friends share nasty comments about her in a message group.
Parents are reminded of the need to act as inspectors of the virtual hallways, but this need not feel overly controlling, according to Dr. Siggie Cohen, child development expert and author of “You Are the Parent: Move From Overparenting to Balanced Parenting and Become the Leader Your Child Needs.”
Approaching your child with genuine curiosity about their interests can make a huge difference.
“First and foremost, stay connected to your kids, even when they’re on their devices,” she said. “Know their world, understand it—not just because you are watching like a watcher, but because you are actually there.”
Emphasizing that personal worth comes from internal rather than external sources will also help children deal with numerous situations that can shake their confidence online, Hunt said.
“We are all bullied, and children will continue to be bullied, and it will continue to happen on screen, but how do we teach our children not to value what others impose on us?” she asked.
Abandon the outdated ‘all or nothing’ attitude
A big spoiler alert — although perhaps you could already guess there’s a happy ending: Bonnie and her parents find their own way, helped, of course, by the intervention of toys and a technology-enabled friendship with a new friend who shares her interests in creative play.
As the credits begin to roll, the audience learns along with Jessie and company that creativity and technology can go hand in hand, an important point to remember as the virtual world becomes as important a space for peer connection as the playground, Cohen said.
“We become focused on, ‘Let’s move away from technology. Let’s stop it. Let’s fear it, put limits on it, and so on.’ All of that adds a lot more pressure and temptation and stress,” Cohen said. “I think what we want to ask is, ‘What’s our time together like? What’s the quality and culture of our time together?'”
Because devices can also be part of this, she said, like family movie nights or games that have virtual elements.
This advice is in line with what the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends: that parents consider “the quality of interactions with digital media, not just the quantity or time spent”.
In the same way that many educators try to use technology as a complementary tool rather than a fundamental starting point, Hunt said that whenever screens can be used to enrich multi-sensory learning and engagement, it is a positive thing.
In the first film, when Buzz Lightyear arrived in Andy’s room with buttons, lights and generally far more flashy features than his simpler counterparts, Hunt said it represented a message that Pixar has always gotten right.
“They don’t say, ‘This is bad’ or ‘Get rid of it,’” he said. “They show how to work together and how to use this as a complementary part of learning, creativity and imaginative play.”
Helping children find that balance is a lesson that can truly take them to infinity and beyond.
