Stephanie Lourenço37, took a trip to the past in 2024 in the documentary “Pra Semper Paquitas”, on Globoplay, in which he recalled the three years in which he was part of the group of Xuxa Meneghel’s stage assistants. In an interview with CNNshe evaluated her child career without showing any regrets. The Curitiba native also spoke about her relationship with sexuality and new projects in her professional life.
Among the many, the homophobia suffered by Stephanie behind the scenes of the children’s program was one of them. The actress, who spoke publicly about bisexuality in 2022, told how the idea of addressing the subject came about:
“I came out some time before the documentary. It was a very important moment for me. So, in the pre-interview and in the interview, this question arose naturally. It was something I really wanted to address and so did Paulo Mário, the screenwriter. He is a gay man who identified with my story. I, a bisexual woman with eagerness to talk about something that happened to me. It ended up happening in a very beautiful way between us. We were moved and connected.”
She was 12 years old when she was called a “dyke” in a derogatory way backstage, and said she was unaware of the seriousness of the situation at the time. “That’s how things happened. And period. Television worked that way and I knew I had to be prepared for all that turmoil. ”, he explained.
The journey of self-discovery took a few years, but today Stephanie proudly displays it in a tattoo on her back. “I understood myself as a lesbian girl at 14 years old. Then, life started happening and oppressing me. I moved away from my essence. I even believed I was heterosexual for a moment, because it made everyone happy and made everything less complicated.”
“When I came out as bisexual, it was because something very powerful happened, which is that you free yourself and give vent to who you are, I could no longer contain it and I had to verbalize it. When your identity knocks on your door it is something very powerful. There’s no way to contain it. That’s what happened”, he recalled.
The support of some people from the program was also essential for the actress’s development. “During Paquita’s time, I lived with people from the community who gave me a lot of support. Mariana Richard [uma das Irmãs Metralha]for example, who appears in the documentary. I have always been surrounded by LGBT people, even through my profession, but for some reason I repressed that side of me for many years.”
“I was also surprised by what I was able to do with myself. I never expected it would overwhelm me. I always thought I was very free. But, sometimes, we buy into the ideology that dictates to us what is ‘normal’ because it is something that is rooted in our daily lives and causes less discomfort. But the people in the community that surrounded me were always very important to me, even if I discovered their importance later.”
In the documentary, he reminded her that nervousness took the words out of her mouth when seeing it in person for the first time. Decades later, the feeling of wonder remained the same: “I am always in awe of Xuxa, who was my childhood idol, my exemplary work colleague and today a woman who fights for ideals as noble as the LGBT cause, against ageism, against violence against children, veganism, etc. She will always give me this effect of admiration. Her presence will always make an impact on me.”
She also spoke with determination about her greatest reference: “Cássia Eller, Cássia Eller, Cássia Eller. This woman was everything to me. I attended almost ten of her shows at the time and there I felt represented and free. She didn’t apologize for who she was. It simply existed and its existence was revolutionary. I will never forget.”
When she decided, Stephanie received support from fans, but was also bombarded by criticism. “Social media often makes me lose hope in humanity, seriously. Sometimes I look for scabies to scratch, so I decide to read reviews, but I don’t recommend it. These people don’t know you, they don’t know your story, your pain. I’m shocked, but nowadays much less so. I read comments from people who said that I’m nobody and I addressed my bisexuality to get out of ostracism (laughs). Whatever that means. I read nasty but funny comments, like: ‘Nothing else is said on BR-116’ and I laughed.”
“I also received many messages from people in the community thanking me for my testimony. People who have already come out, some who still feel scared, a bisexual man who came out after listening to me. And that in the end is what counts. I feel connected to these people. I feel honored that they trust me”, she said.
When asked about her plans if she hadn’t become a paquita, Stephanie couldn’t answer. “I can’t and don’t want to imagine. I am the result of everything I have experienced. A cliché line, but very real: having gone through everything I went through, I left my overprotected childhood behindbrought me many challenges and possibilities for growth and evolution. Today I like myself. Something that took me a while to achieve.”
The actress is working on a short film that follows the play “What my naked body tells you”, directed by Marcelo Varzea in 2022. “It is not easy to transfer an experience from stage to audiovisual. I’m struggling a little, but it will be worth it. All this research is very enriching and I know that when the project is completed I will have grown a lot from it. I’ve already rewrote the script more than ten times. The idea is that the project will be completed by March and I hope that it will travel around Brazil and the world at some festivals. I hope this happens,” he said.
The production addresses drug addiction in a playful way. “We can’t always select our projects or have the money to support our idea. But this time, I count on the support of many talented friends who embarked on this idea. Talking about topics dear to me is part of my journey as an artist. But we know that we are at the mercy of the market most of the time. And I want to work, work, work. Sometimes we get lucky and find a director with goals close to ours and that’s incredible.”
“Art, in addition to entertainment, causes empathy and rapprochement. We come close and are moved by stories that are far from being part of our everyday reality, but are part of the world in which we live. That’s why I think it’s important”, defended the actress and activist.
