Although fantasizing about your partner is associated with greater sexual satisfaction, a new study has concluded that fantasizing about an outside person is not necessarily a sign that the person is not satisfied in the relationship.
A new published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior suggests that People’s sexual fantasies vary significantly depending on whether they are alone or having sex with a partner.
Researchers have found that fantasies during sex with a partner tend to involve more emotional intimacyaffection, and bonding, while fantasies during solitary masturbation tend to focus more on explicit erotic content and people outside the relationship.
The research involved 546 adults from the United States and Canada who had stable sexual relations for at least six months. Participants included people who identified as gender or sexual minorities as well as people from majority groups, allowing researchers to examine a wide range of relationship experiences.
Participants were asked to describe two recent fantasies: one experienced during solitary masturbation and the other during sex with a steady partner. The researchers analyzed the content of fantasiesfocusing on the themes of “eroticism” centered on physical pleasure and excitement and “care”, involving emotional closeness and affection, explains .
The results revealed notable differences between the two contexts. During masturbation, about 56% of participants reported fantasies that involved someone outside the relationshipwhile only 26% focused exclusively on their partner. During sex with a partner, however, fantasies became more relationship-oriented, with 35% focused exclusively on the partner.
Still, fantasizing about other people during sex with a partner was also common. About 38% two participants reported thinking about someone other than their partner while having sex. The investigators emphasized that this did not necessarily indicate dissatisfaction in the relationship.
“We didn’t find that the person people fantasized about was directly linked to relationship satisfaction“, the authors noted, although greater sexual satisfaction was associated with a greater likelihood of fantasizing about one’s partner rather than an outside person.
The researchers acknowledged limitations, including the fact that participants had remembering past fantasies instead of recording them in real time. Still, they argue that the results support a broader view of sexuality as flexible and highly influenced by the social and relational context.
