“I apologize for the delay. I had a crisis of, I ended up in the hospital, my cell phone was out of battery… and of course the universe conspired against me. Because, obviously, if there is someone that life chooses to test, this is me. But in the end, the same question is left: What did I stop doing only me?
I know I have anxiety crises when I don’t sleep well. And I also know that I sleep better when I feed lightly, I avoid alcohol at night and exercise. Yesterday, I chose the opposite. Because nothing like a heavy plate and a glass of wine to ensure that night worthy of award -winning insomnia. Between immediate pleasure and the inevitable consequence, we are all champions in making bets that we already know will go wrong. ”If you recognized?
The bias that leads us to blame the environment for failures and to take the merit through hits is known as self-serving bias. It acts as a self -protection mechanism: relieves self -esteem, but keeps us stuck in the excuses. If you are from the team that thinks “this only happens to me”, congratulations: you are not unlucky. You are a protagonist… of the script you wrote yourself. On the other hand, a publication on Frontiers in Psychology recalls that the opposite extreme – Autoblame – is also a trap to staying paralyzed without finding a purpose. Between seeking all the flaws or inventing excuses they relieve, the self-responsibility appears as the possible way: to recognize the part that fits me without outsourcing it to the world that only exists in the mind itself.
Assuming reins of one’s life involves dealing with choices that we often prefer to disguise. Even though it is, in the end, the purpose of heading with head at work to justify why I don’t want to be in family.
In (2006), it is easy to point out Miranda Priestly as the villain: the authoritarian chief who chokes the protagonist. Andrea looked just like a victim, sacrificing health, relationships and personal life in the name of approval. But the paradox is that blaming the other is always simpler than admitting their own choices. Maybe Andrea no longer wanted to support that life (nor the relationship with Nate) and the work was just the convenient excuse. The hard time was not to face Miranda, but to take the courage to change his own way, with all the choices and renunciations involved (and, you see, I’m not here saying that Miranda was not a toxic boss, see? But this is the subject for another moment).
I venture to say that the big question is not who is to blame, but what we do with her when the apologies are over. Are we able to live relationships without turning the other into a manager of our frustrations? Because if happiness depends on someone to do everything we set aside, maybe the problem is not in the other – being in the excuses we collect.
In the end, self -responsibility is this silent turn: the bond that does not seek guilty but finds ways; The choice that does not depend on the other, but transforms us to be better with it. Because, after all, life holds less in the excuses we give and more in the responsibility we assume.
The real question is: What do we do when we have no excuses anymore? Maybe invent one more… or, perhaps, finally assume that the remote control of this story has always been in our hand. And it’s time to tune the best channel.
*This text does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the young Pan.
