- Constantly postponing lessons for later for fear of making a mistake is a very clear signal showing how to recognize perfectionism in a child.
- Materials from the Orygen organization clearly show that everyday sleep problems often mean a child’s great fear of failing at school.
- Parents simply admitting their mistakes effectively helps children cope with the pressure to be the best
- According to the HealthyChildren website, sincere appreciation of the effort put in builds the little person’s resistance to stressful situations
How to recognize perfectionism in a child? The first disturbing signals
Sometimes it seems to us that our child is simply very ambitious and cares deeply about getting good grades at school. Over time, however, this desire to be the best in everything becomes a huge burden for him, which brutally takes away the joy of everyday fun. Unhealthy perfectionism is a problem that makes a child’s world revolve mainly around a powerful fear of failure..
This whole problem usually comes from the fact that a young person places unrealistic expectations on himself and feels constant pressure to make absolutely no mistakes. When something doesn’t go his way, the toddler gets angry, avoids taking action or completely gives up the challenge because he assumes that he won’t be able to cope anyway. As a result, such a vicious circle leads to the accumulation of enormous stress and a sense of hopelessness in everyday life.
Symptoms of unhealthy perfectionism. These behaviors may cause concern
As we read in the materials of the Australian organization Orygen (dealing with youth mental health), it is worth considering an honest conversation with your child if we notice the following signs:
- postponing learning and responsibilities for fear of making a mistake
- constantly correcting your homework and spending too many hours on it
- the constant need to reassure parents that they are doing everything right
- trouble sleeping, extreme tiredness during the day and reluctance to go to school
- thinking in black and white and saying that further efforts make no sense
Such everyday difficulties clearly show that the toddler simply cannot cope with his own emotions and self-imposed standards. It’s high time to help him take this burden off his shoulders and show that no one in the world is flawless.
How to praise a child to immunize him or her from the fear of failure?
To help your child cope with the pressure of being at the top of the class, on the HealthyChildren website we can read that it is worth focus on the effort put in, not the end result. Instead of asking what grade your child got on a test, it may be a good idea to appreciate the time he or she devoted to learning and his or her willingness to work. It is worth showing the child at every step that acquiring knowledge is a long process in which mistakes are completely normal and give us a chance to draw valuable conclusions for the future. Thanks to this calm approach, our children learn that mistakes are not the end of the world, just another lesson to be learned.
A child’s ambitions are too high. What to do when the pressure is too strong?
The best way to nip unhealthy perfectionism in the bud is to show your toddler unconditional acceptance and prove to him that he is loved regardless of his school achievements.. If you notice that your child has too many extra-curricular activities, a great step would be to find a life balance together and give up some of them without stress. In addition, it is worth openly admitting your own adult mistakes, because when a child sees that his or her parent also has flaws and can talk about them normally, he or she learns humility and self-respect. It is also good to often remind a young person that real success in life is, above all, being a good and empathetic person, and not just a machine for collecting the highest grades.
Sources:
