Who plans the baby shower, the parents or friends and family? A video on TikTok has sparked a debate about the lack of community, selfishness and the financial burden of modern events.
A pregnant Australian woman has sparked a global conversation about friendship, community and etiquette after revealing her disappointment over no one has offered to organize a baby shower before your child arrives.
Emily Jeffery, a TikTok content creator, shared her experience in a video that has already surpassed 6.5 million views. In the video, she explains that, around the 34th week of pregnancy, she realized that you would have to organize your own baby shower because no family member or friend took the initiative.
“I remember being about 34 weeks pregnant and realizing nothing was going to happen unless I got everything organized. I felt the same as when only 4 friends came to my 18th birthday party“, wrote the creator.
Although Jeffery clarified that he did not expect friends or family to bear the costs of the event, he admitted have felt hurt because no one offered to help organize this important moment.
@emilymaddison99 EDIT **I was sad my mum didn’t help me organise it, we talked about it & I had the best time on the day. I would never expect anyone to cop the expense of my baby shower** I remember getting to 34ish weeks pregnant, & realising that nothing was going to happen unless I organised it. Felt the same as when only 4 friends came to my 18th party 🥲 #motherhood #sahm #postpartum #babyshower ♬ Sand Drawing – Judah Earl
His comments took the internet by storm, sparking a heated debate in the comments about who should be responsible for planning a baby shower.
Many commentators have pointed out that, traditionally, baby showers are organized by friends or family and that their refusal is a sign of the increasing social isolation of modern times. There were also those who emphasized that this tradition was born because it was seen as bad form for parents to organize a party where they receive gifts.
“I think a lot of people are missing a very important point. She literally has a room full of people willing to attend the celebration, but no one was willing to organize it. She has a room FULL of people who They could have at least asked“, says one commenter. “This comment section makes me so sad! I’ve never been to a baby shower organized by the person expecting the baby,” says another.
However, many users argued that modern expectations have changed and that parents must take responsibility organizing pregnancy-related events.
“Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but if you choose to have a baby, the events that come with it are also your responsibility. A baby shower is nice when people volunteer, but no one is forced to organize one for themselves“, pointed out one comment. “Why should other people plan YOUR baby shower???”, criticized another person.
Several said they were completely unaware of the tradition of other people organizing the event besides their own parents and there were also those who highlighted the growing pressure to have major events worthy of being published on social media. “In the past, baby showers were simple and a pleasant gathering. Now it’s like planning a wedding and expectations are very high”, he said.
There were also those who recalled the financial burden as an obstacle. “I’ve had 5 children without a baby shower. In my opinion, it’s just a way of asking people to buy gifts. If you want your child, buy the things yourself,” wrote one mother. “I’m sorry to say this, but it’s very expensive. I’m managing as best I can. There is no way I could organize a baby shower, not even for my best friend”, pointed out one commentator.
The discussion comes at a time when baby showers have become an increasingly common tradition in Australia. Research suggests that between 70% and 80% of pregnant Australian women celebrate their baby’s arrival with one of these events and families collectively spend more than 100 million Australian dollars annually at these events, not counting those present.
